[Rhun]

i don't really browse it as much as i used to, but i just read this and laughed so much i cried

A long time ago I was being extremely bored and generally stupid, so somehow I got the Nobel Prize worthy idea to see how much dental floss I could swallow and then pull back out of my stomach.

I had already done it with smaller pieces (no more than 6ft), so I went about and started swallowing a continuous strand of dental floss. For convenience, I stuck the roll of floss in my shirt pocket and watched TV for and hour and a half.

I finally decided to stop, and began to slowly fish the dental floss out of my throat. I retrieved about 5 feet of floss before it snagged. I couldn't retrieve anymore without the floss cutting into my esophagus. I assume the floss either got knotted up into a ball in my stomach and couldn't get up into my esophagus, or it had already started to feed through into my instestine. So after a half-hour of dry heaving, I gave up, cut the floss with nail clippers, and swallowed everything back down.

For the next few days, I never experienced intestinal pain so severe in my life. It felt like I had swallowed half of a broken beer bottle that was going shards first. I couldn't take the random sharp stabbing pains anymore so I fled to the drug store, purchased a bottle of laxative and downed the fucker when I got back out to my vehicle.

That night, my ass poured like a full-open garden hose. I can only assume that a massive yarn ball of minty floss was lurking beneath that opaque tan-colored toilet water afterwards, because the pain completely went away.

I'm surprised it didn't totally fuck up my digestive system. At least, I hope not...


The sad thing is, this is a true story.